Ever since I was a child, I’ve always had good health, I’ve never spent a night in hospital nor have I been diagnosed with Malaria. I’ve had a minor surgery, and I often struggle with Migraines and photophobia and sometimes stomach ulcers, but besides that I am generally a healthy person. Being the healthy person I am, I rarely go to the hospital in fact I hate hospitals, I’ll go when I HAVE to. I hate being weak and being in need, I am the type that goes on even when I’m sick until my body finally gives up on me.
For the longest time I looked at my spiritual life the way I do my Physical. Not to say I didn’t see my need for a savior, I did in a sense of all having fallen short of the glory of God (Romans 3:23) but not an awareness that made me seek God’s mercy often. I had/have? (still a WIP) a condition called “self-righteousness” believing that I was better off than most people although I have sin that I struggle with.
I would often be the first one to offer my neighbor help in their struggle, miss self-righteous who thinks because she doesn’t have that struggle she can teach others how to be more like her. Or I would be the one to write people off when they fail to meet “my” standard of holiness, be quick to write them off as Christians just because they struggle. I looked at myself as a nurse in the doctor’s office, helping the doctor as he heals people, having that I am a doctor but not really a doctor attitude that nurses have some times.
Little did I know, that in due time the doctor would show me that I am more like an arrow sign pointing towards the doctor’s office than I am an assistant to His work. Jesus said “Those who are well have no need of a physician, but those who are sick. I came not to call the righteous, but sinners.”
This year God has been so good in disciplining me and showing me my own sickness and need for a savior, reminding me that it’s not just the original sin that makes me need a savior but also the indwelling sin.
The great physician had diagnosed me with a whole lot of diseases and conditions, bringing me to my knees, I’ve really learnt that the healthy don’t need doctors. And that he didn’t come for those who thought they have it all figured out but those who know they don’t and probably will never will.
Without gratifying my need to always have something profound and smart to say, I’ll just end with this, I now know I’ve got a multitude of illnesses and I am broken in a lot of ways. I now speak with more humility than I did before, because I understand I don’t know it all, I now say to people “I know and understand the struggle” than “this is how you can fix that”, and I am now more gracious with my brothers and sisters when they fall and fail. Because I know, the great physician is here for sinners like them and me. For as long as I have indwelling sin, I will always need Jesus, because the healthy don’t need doctors.
Are you really healthy?