#ReflectionMondays Forgive I can but forget? 

A couple of days ago, I reconciled with a brother of mine that I never thought I would ever speak to again. 
I hadn’t seen or spoken to him in over 6 months, I blocked him on all social media (don’t judge me) and pretty much from my life. I was really hurt by this brother of mine, and in that moment I reached what I believe was my final straw. 

Don’t get me wrong I still loved and cared for my friend, but I preferred to do it from a distance. For a while I was mad at him and hence chose the extreme measures to cut him out of my life. Over time I forgave him and let everything go, but did I forget? 

Of course I never forgot how being hurt by him made me feel and how let down I was by his actions, I forgave but failed to do what the great saying “forgive and forget” says. 

After months of not seeing him and also ignoring his attempts to reach out, I “bumped” into my friend at a place I went to, and I knew he would be as well. And I had resolved to not speak to him or rather just say hie and bye. 

But little did I know that wasn’t God’s plan for the night. Me and my brother ended up talking things out and reconciled which is a great feeling. 

On my way back home I was of thinking about how some of my favorite passages of scripture are those that speak of God’s forgiveness. God forgives our sins and rembers our sin no more (Isaiah 43:25, Hebrew 10:17, Hebrews 8:12, Psalm 103:12) or as the rapper flame once put it “all our sins thrown in the sea of forgetfulness, as far as the east is from the west, what sin? What offense?”. God forgives us because of what Christ has done for us, he doesn’t forget in the sense ignorance as forgetfulness is to us humans. But rather he does not count our sins against us, hence he “Remembers them no more”. 

As I was reflecting on God’s forgiveness and forgetfulness, I couldn’t help but compare it to my own forgiveness and how conditional it is. 

I know me cutting my friend off was a defense mechanism, not wanting to be hurt by him again because it hurts. But what if he actually does hurt me again? We are all human beings after all! Is my forgiveness on the merit that he never hurts me again or is it unconditional. Did I forgive and forget or will I hold the past mistakes against him next time I’m hurt. Or even holding anyone against any past hurt I’ve felt from somebody else? 

It’s a pity that for someone who has been shown so much grace by God I’m not quick to extend the same grace to others. 

I pray the Lord teaches my heart what true forgiveness looks like, what it means to remember but also not remember anymore. May he teach my heart to love like 1 Corinthians 13 because “Love is patient”, “Love is not irritable or resentful (not easily angered, Keeps no record or wrongs. NIV)”, “Love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things”

Above all, I pray God teaches me how to love like Christ has loved me. Despite of how much I’ve sinned against him, he does not count my sin against me, forgives me even when I don’t deserve it. And his mercies are new every morning. 

Grace and Peace,


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